Well, to be honest I certainly didn’t expect 2013 to be my introduction to culture 101. Fortunately and Finally at a few years away from 30, I realized I was allowed to uncover the missing puzzle pieces of my life. I used to think it was an out of bounds discussion. The slightest peek into learning about my culture seemed completely unavailable for digging into. For sensitive reasons I had to take into consideration the concerns of others.
Those relevant details unfold here:
1. Adoption: I am adopted. Recently, I have been in contact with my birth mother online. As a child I was chastised for being a mixed mutt.
2. Unidentifiable Race: I never knew why I had an “ethnic look” or what race I appeared to belong to. Eventually, a document revealed I was ½ First nations (maternal) & ½ Czech (paternal).
3. Guilt: My curiosity about my cultural roots would resolve in personal deep guilt and confusion. Even though I yearned to know about my background.
4. Betrayal: The thought of asking my parents about my background felt like a deliberate disrespect to them.
5. Emotions: I used to feel physically sick about even wondering about my birth parents let alone the idea of a culture.
The initial act of my adventure required involving my parents. How do you put an amazing parents in an uncomfortable position? I’ve shamed myself listening to my scripts of how I’d come across. It sounded along the lines of this…
“Hey, I know you love me, took amazing care of me etc. I just want you to know I am so thankful, appreciative and love you for that.”
(Hopefully I came across with a less aggressive approach that sounds like I’m not asking for money).
“All of that to say, I’d like to find my birth family & embrace my cultural roots. Not under any circumstance is this supposed to be a replacement. I know this isn’t something that will “complete me” or correct any emotional history.”
When I met them at a restaurant I wanted to cancel as soon as I stepped foot into the place. Where’s the manual for these situations? Adoption is DEFINETELY a common enough topic to make a Dummies book over, right?
They were fine. It went smoothly. I cannot believe I waited almost three decades to be ready to say that. Their involvement in any of the process of finding them includes a few questions so that vital statistics would accept my form. Since a couple times I’d been sent back the form for not having enough information.
There are so many lessons for me to learn through the process of finding them. I have yet to meet my birth mother, which is possibly the most exciting event to happen in 2013.
Has anyone had a less complicating process or an even messier one? All of this is so new to me, clearly!
Missing feathers 